Memories of fear

At times, we may feel fear, when it either doesn’t make any sense at all, or it is unnecessarily strong. In these situation we are experiencing a memory of fear. This is a memory of a past event where we experienced fear, yet we have suppressed the memory and are only aware of the fear.

In response to traumatic experiences, our minds can use the technique of separating consciousness. This allows us to forget the experience and survive until we are safe. We are able to put things out of our mind, so that we can focus on protecting ourselves or getting to safety.

The mind takes enough consciousness to contain the emotion of the experience, and places it inside the memory, and files it away. This is the mechanism of intentional forgetting. The consciousness in that memory remains there, stuck at that time, but it is still connected to us.Also it still has access to our 6 physical senses*, and if it notices a situation that reminds it of the initial trauma, it will trigger the feeling in the memory. We will feel fear, yet not understand why.

The stronger the emotion held by the memory, the stronger the emotion felt in the present. Triggering extreme trauma can result in a panic attack. This is possible because consciousness is not actually divisible. We are separate emotions in the same way waves in water are separate. The same is true for our mind. Those forgotten memories cannot be completely separated.

These forgotten memories retain their emotion, often affecting our lives in negative ways. They remain this way until we retrieve and heal them. We can do this once we have found safety, yet our culture teaches us to never allow this healing.

To heal these memories, we need to allow the emotion when it arises. It may be as simple as grieving the emotion away. In some cases we don’t even remember the memory. Other times we need to use healing tools to trace the feel I to its memory. Some therapists have these skills, but most do not. Once we acquire these tools, we can use them ourselves. Whatever way we heal, grieving is required to clear the trapped emotion. We must allow ourselves to cry.

Therapists that are trained to help with PTSD from childhood or war trauma are more likely to know the tools required to clear emotion from intentionally forgotten beliefs.

The mechanism of forgetting, and later healing, is quite simple and easy to understand. Not so easy to do. Its really worth the effort! Initially, emotion released can be overwhelming, but it passes each time, and decreases as healing progresses.

* as well as the 5 physical senses we learn about, there is a sixth. We are a receiver and transmitter of electromagnetic energy and possess a complex energy field. We can send and receive a lot of information with this tool. Also, there is our connection with universal consciousness, that can be interpreted as a non physical sense.

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Memories of fear

Self-destructive behavior

It is increasingly understood that self-destructive behavior is an expression of past child abuse or trauma. Yet it seems illogical that survivors of abuse would harm themselves rather than the abuser.

But, on the level of energy, self-destructive behavior makes sense.

We store the essence of our life experiences in our bodies. We can also hide unpleasant past experiences by reducing our connection to that part of the body that stores the essence of that experience. That part of our body is also less connected to our physical immunity and is more susceptible to disease and illness.

After we have survived our traumatic experiences and find a relatively safe life situation, our body’s emotional tools begin to heal the effect of the trauma. We go through the stages of shock, anger, sadness, grief and finally re-empowerment. The essence of the traumatic experience is transformed into an even deeper essence on the spiritual level, that allows our spirit to understand cause and effect, and allows us to avoid actions that lead to harmful outcomes. Most simply, we learn from our experiences at the deepest level and our spirit retains this lesson. Our being returns to a peaceful state and the parts of our body that held that essence return to their normal wellness.

However, in order to survive the extended trauma of war, our culture teaches us to suppress emotional expression, especially negative emotions, and especially crying – we are taught to ‘harden our hearts’. Faced with these restrictions on our self-expression, we turn to deeper defense mechanisms such as self-destructive behavior. It simply stems from the unwavering desire to process the essence of the trauma. That essence must be moved, released, processed, one way or another. We turn to self-destructive behavior to give essential attention to the agitated body. It is like scratching an itch until it is an open wound. We may continue with self-destructive behavior until it becomes another traumatic phase in our life.

On a cultural level, a nation will eventually self-destruct if it cannot find a way out of this self-defeating trap. This final, worst-case outcome protects the human species from groups that follow a non-peaceful path – they will eventually destroy themselves, and the culture that preserves their self-destructive behavior weakens and collapses.

Without understanding why we engage in self-destructive behavior, we cannot easily break out of that strategy, that habit. We remain unaware of the consequence of the cultural restrictions on our emotional expression. We remain a victim of our trauma or abuse until we reject the guidance of our ignorant culture.

Once we encounter information about the cause of our self-destructive behavior, we can return to our emotional healing mechanisms and recover from the past trauma. Starting our recovery, we also end the journey of that trauma from generation to generation, because we become the one that stops the cycle of abuse and trauma. We are not only healing ourselves, but we open the door of healing for those around us and for our culture. More than becoming a recovering individual, we become a healing node in our culture.

Self-destructive behavior