The Secret of Happiness

Happiness is what we have when we have nothing to be unhappy about.

Happiness is the natural human state of mind.

Yet many of us don’t have much happiness, and we don’t really know why.

Yet, we can choose to be unhappy, or choose to not be unhappy. It is something we can have total power over.

Those of us who are unhappy, often are unhappy about things we cannot change. It is as if we WANT to be unhappy, and have chosen the most effective way to be unhappy!

Perhaps we feel that life is meant to be unhappy – or that we deserve to be unhappy. I wholeheartedly assert that these 2 beliefs are totally false! – they will keep us from happiness as surely as gravity holds us to the earth.

Being unhappy about past events – that will surely keep us unhappy. And for what purpose? We can’t change it! So the only reason to be unhappy about it, is for the purpose of being unhappy!

Being unhappy about other people is another unfallible way to be unhappy. We can only truly change ourselves, so let’s give up on the impossible and return to happiness.

So – how to stop being unhappy about things we can’t change?

We can search within ourselves – to find those thoughts and beliefs that give us unhappy feelings, and re-decide those beliefs. If we find past versions of ourselves, trapped at the source of the unhappiness, we can rescue them, reunite them with our true self in the now. If we find a belief as the source of unhappiness, we can expose that belief to our current wisdom and logic, and change it to match the truth according to the evidence of our present – rather than the emotion of the past.

It took time to build up our sources of unhappiness. One by one we piled them up. And one by one we can remove them. We can decide to persevere, to make the effort to clean up the mess in our mind’s house.

Happiness is our rightful state of mind. Our birthright. Happiness awaits our effort to discard those things that keep us from being our true selves.

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The Secret of Happiness

The mind must choose to follow the heart

I was laying back, thinking about parts of my mind that wont yet accept the authority of my hearts guidance. I suggested to my heart that it just force those parts of my mind to obey.

My heart immediately caused me to understand that it cannot, it is not allowed to do that.
The mind must heal itself, and choose to follow the heart. It cannot be forced. Forced cooperation is no cooperation at all.
Only the mind that has chosen to follow the hearts guidance – a united mind, void of internal conflict – truly has the capacity to follow the hearts guidance.
An unwilling subject is an incompetent subject. It cannot be any other way.

So, the mind must be healed and united, by seeking out and resolving internal conflicts.
For this process, an essential tool is provided: Emotion, the internal conflict seeker.

The mind must choose to follow the heart

Heart: want, Mind: should

The heart only cares about want, and not want – it is clear and direct, unambiguous.

The mind cares about should – and shouldn’t – it presents many conflicting points of view, filling your life with a confusing audiovisual stream, accompanied by a confrontational dialogue of words.

Only the heart can present clarity in the midst of this chaotic mindset, never needing words to communicate its wishes.

Heart: want, Mind: should

The mind vs. inner peace

Since before we developed writing, we have pursued ways to avoid the suffering of unpleasant feelings.

Each individual first notices that certain things distract from those feelings. So we become addicted to these distractions. Yet, eventually, we realize these addictions inevitably increase our unpleasant feelings. Our minds try to restrict our addictions and our suffering increases.

Then, we notice these unpleasant feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We notice ways to distract ourselves from these thoughts, and becomes addicted to them. We build our lives around these avoidance strategies and they become our master. Inevitably, these lifestyle strategies bring us more unpleasant feelings, or suffering, than we originally tried to avoid. Our minds try to restrict those parts of our lifestyle that cause our suffering, yet our suffering increases. We experience powerlessness.

Then, we try to find the source of the thoughts that cause unpleasant feelings, so as to stop them from arising. We seek in the spiritual teachings of other minds, the ways to remove these thoughts from our own minds. We become addicted to this search. We may, in this search, learn that giving up the control of our lives to an external master reduces our suffering, but doesn’t remove it completely. We may realize that we cannot control our mind, by the power of our mind. Regardless of the kind of spiritual practice we take on, we find some inner peace, yet suffering still persists.

We do all this, while knowing from childhood experience, that physically expressing our unpleasant feeling quickly ends the suffering of that moment. Yet, instead of allowing this natural process to occur, we live for our addictions and give up our self determination to external masters just to avoid that feeling of grief.

Then, only because everything our mind tried has failed, and we have totally run out of ideas, we finally allow the release of the emotion we were avoiding all our lives – only when all other strategies have failed and we have given up in desperation. We are instantly transformed and soon realize that our emotions, especially grief, alone have the power to rapidly repair our mind and its thinking – emotions are the immune system of our minds. As our minds are allowed to heal, we are gradually introduced to our inner master, and eventually, inevitably, no longer require any outer master of addiction, lifestyle or religion.

Then, we become our true selves.

The mind vs. inner peace

Allowing the guidance of the universe

There are 2 ways to live life. One is to live according to the ideas of the mind. This path leaves us dependent on the ideas and beliefs of others. As children, we dont question the things we are taught, and these become subconscious beliefs that control our lives until we dig them up and change them. Yet we can still follow the guidance of our mind in life, changing certain beliefs as we see fit.

The other way to live is to allow the universe to guide us through our hearts. To live this way, we can follow our inspiration, and avoid those things which we really dont want to do. In fact the hardest part of living this way is to not do what we have been taught that we should do. Part of our upbringing is training about social obligations. We are expected to do certain things to keep society going.

Should society continue as it is – with war, repression, secret abuse, corruption? When we take a good look at society, we see that it is an unsustainable disaster. Can we be certain that the guidance of our hearts will make the world worse than it is now? We can forget about the obligations of a corrupt society.

In reality, we express a combination of these 2 ways of living. There are always times when we follow our inspiration, and just do what we really want to do, regardless of the consequences. There are times that we do what we believe we should do, out of obligation of fear of the unknown, regardless of the terrible feeling we get from it – regardless of the stagnation in our lives.

The single change that leads to improvement in our lives is to follow our inspiration more. We cant just suddenly transform our lives overnight, as some people say is possible. Our transformation to allow more guidance from the universe in our lives is gradual. It takes practice. It takes persistence. It is greatly helped by feeling hopeless or stuck. It requires getting to know ourselves, getting to know the feeling of inspiration. It requires understanding that only the mind uses words. Inspiration never uses words, just want and not want.

We are allowed to follow our hearts. We are allowed to reject the faulty guidance of society. It is our right to live as we wish.

Allowing the guidance of the universe

Depression and despair

Depression and despair are easy to understand. It is a memory of a feeling that you had when something bad happened to you.

Your mind is trying to heal you by releasing the negative energy. Allow it, by releasing the grief or anger or fear.

Then you can relive the memory of the experience that made you sad, and can put that memory in its proper place – your past.

You can use guided meditations or other methods to help you return to the painful memory in a safe way, and release the emotion attached to the memory. Then, that painful experience will no longer hold you back in life. You will be free of that chain.

Depression and despair