The Secret of Happiness

Happiness is what we have when we have nothing to be unhappy about.

Happiness is the natural human state of mind.

Yet many of us don’t have much happiness, and we don’t really know why.

Yet, we can choose to be unhappy, or choose to not be unhappy. It is something we can have total power over.

Those of us who are unhappy, often are unhappy about things we cannot change. It is as if we WANT to be unhappy, and have chosen the most effective way to be unhappy!

Perhaps we feel that life is meant to be unhappy – or that we deserve to be unhappy. I wholeheartedly assert that these 2 beliefs are totally false! – they will keep us from happiness as surely as gravity holds us to the earth.

Being unhappy about past events – that will surely keep us unhappy. And for what purpose? We can’t change it! So the only reason to be unhappy about it, is for the purpose of being unhappy!

Being unhappy about other people is another unfallible way to be unhappy. We can only truly change ourselves, so let’s give up on the impossible and return to happiness.

So – how to stop being unhappy about things we can’t change?

We can search within ourselves – to find those thoughts and beliefs that give us unhappy feelings, and re-decide those beliefs. If we find past versions of ourselves, trapped at the source of the unhappiness, we can rescue them, reunite them with our true self in the now. If we find a belief as the source of unhappiness, we can expose that belief to our current wisdom and logic, and change it to match the truth according to the evidence of our present – rather than the emotion of the past.

It took time to build up our sources of unhappiness. One by one we piled them up. And one by one we can remove them. We can decide to persevere, to make the effort to clean up the mess in our mind’s house.

Happiness is our rightful state of mind. Our birthright. Happiness awaits our effort to discard those things that keep us from being our true selves.

The Secret of Happiness

The mind must choose to follow the heart

I was laying back, thinking about parts of my mind that wont yet accept the authority of my hearts guidance. I suggested to my heart that it just force those parts of my mind to obey.

My heart immediately caused me to understand that it cannot, it is not allowed to do that.
The mind must heal itself, and choose to follow the heart. It cannot be forced. Forced cooperation is no cooperation at all.
Only the mind that has chosen to follow the hearts guidance – a united mind, void of internal conflict – truly has the capacity to follow the hearts guidance.
An unwilling subject is an incompetent subject. It cannot be any other way.

So, the mind must be healed and united, by seeking out and resolving internal conflicts.
For this process, an essential tool is provided: Emotion, the internal conflict seeker.

The mind must choose to follow the heart

Trauma and Recovery

When we suffer the trauma of abuse or other experiences that are overwhelmingly unpleasant, we dissociate. This is a natural mechanism that allows us to survive trauma.
But, dissociation is only the first half of surviving trauma.

Later, when the danger has passed, we must reassociate. We must return to the trauma in our mind and rejoin with the emotional effect of it. In this way we can bring together the parts of our mind that was split by the traumatic experience.

Once rejoined, that part of our mind can again function normally and contribute to our improved survival. We can get on with life.

This mechanism to deal with trauma is quite amazing. We naturally and unconsciously separate our response to trauma into 2 pieces in our mind. Its automatic. The physical experience cant be postponed, but the emotional effect in the mind can be separated and put safely aside. Later, the emotional effect, which was separated and postponed, can be dealt with at our convenience. Its so great we have this naturally inbuilt mechanism to protect our mind from the full effect of traumatic experiences.

When the trauma is too great, we simply can’t cope with both the physical and emotional trauma simultaneously. Splitting allows us to cope, and later we can return in physical safety to complete the process of survival.

Yet, if we dont return later and rejoin the separated parts of our mind that hold the trauma, we remain ‘damaged’ (uncompleted) and cannot return fully to our lives.
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I want to thank Athena and Bobbi from traumarecoveryuniversity.com for inspiring this realization in me. I was watching their 2 hour video special on accepting the reality of abuse. As always, their videos inspire light bulbs in my understanding.

Trauma and Recovery

Heart: want, Mind: should

The heart only cares about want, and not want – it is clear and direct, unambiguous.

The mind cares about should – and shouldn’t – it presents many conflicting points of view, filling your life with a confusing audiovisual stream, accompanied by a confrontational dialogue of words.

Only the heart can present clarity in the midst of this chaotic mindset, never needing words to communicate its wishes.

Heart: want, Mind: should

Justice and our place in the world

Its not hard to notice the injustices in the world. Those who politically control society care only about staying in power and will commit any crime to maintain their power. Most organizations who claim to fight for justice are actually surviving off injustice and wont do anything that would really bring justice or threaten those in power who commit crimes.

We are brought up to be good and fight for justice. We react emotionally to the selected injustices that are presented to us for the purpose of usurping our reactions. Those in power control the media and restrict our awareness of their crimes. In this way they direct our responses and reactions so that we use up our ‘justice energy’ without achieving anything.

This is a game of ‘cat and mouse’. Stop playing.

Each of us has a desire to follow our heart, and in doing so, we use our power in ways that truly change ourselves and the world around us. Yet most of us dont follow our hearts, but live within the restrictions placed on us. In this way we cannot change ourselves or the world. The universe has not given everyone the role of fighting all injustice in all faraway places – this is a role that only suits those in power.

The universe has placed us in the situation where we can exert our power and follow our hearts. This is the choice that we have before us. Use our energy to find a way to follow our hearts in the world we are in. Or waste our energy trying to change a faraway place. If the universe wanted us to change a faraway place, we would be in that place. We are in the place we are because that is the place we have the opportunity to change – by changing the way we live in it.

The world is now in a time of great injustice and conflict. It is a stage in the cycles of earthly existence and cannot be avoided. It is also a sign that humans are resisting change. The chaos is required for the human race to develop, to learn from the mistake of resisting change and growth. The universe will destroy any part of itself that refuses to grow and change.

For individuals, the lesson is to let go of the fight that is not ours. Our hearts will tell us what is our fight, and give us the power to win. Individuals that understand the need to grow and change along with the universe will find themselves somehow protected from the chaos. Individuals that refuse to grow and change will find the chaos surrounding them, physically or mentally.

Justice and our place in the world

Allowing the guidance of the universe

There are 2 ways to live life. One is to live according to the ideas of the mind. This path leaves us dependent on the ideas and beliefs of others. As children, we dont question the things we are taught, and these become subconscious beliefs that control our lives until we dig them up and change them. Yet we can still follow the guidance of our mind in life, changing certain beliefs as we see fit.

The other way to live is to allow the universe to guide us through our hearts. To live this way, we can follow our inspiration, and avoid those things which we really dont want to do. In fact the hardest part of living this way is to not do what we have been taught that we should do. Part of our upbringing is training about social obligations. We are expected to do certain things to keep society going.

Should society continue as it is – with war, repression, secret abuse, corruption? When we take a good look at society, we see that it is an unsustainable disaster. Can we be certain that the guidance of our hearts will make the world worse than it is now? We can forget about the obligations of a corrupt society.

In reality, we express a combination of these 2 ways of living. There are always times when we follow our inspiration, and just do what we really want to do, regardless of the consequences. There are times that we do what we believe we should do, out of obligation of fear of the unknown, regardless of the terrible feeling we get from it – regardless of the stagnation in our lives.

The single change that leads to improvement in our lives is to follow our inspiration more. We cant just suddenly transform our lives overnight, as some people say is possible. Our transformation to allow more guidance from the universe in our lives is gradual. It takes practice. It takes persistence. It is greatly helped by feeling hopeless or stuck. It requires getting to know ourselves, getting to know the feeling of inspiration. It requires understanding that only the mind uses words. Inspiration never uses words, just want and not want.

We are allowed to follow our hearts. We are allowed to reject the faulty guidance of society. It is our right to live as we wish.

Allowing the guidance of the universe