The mind vs. inner peace

Since before we developed writing, we have pursued ways to avoid the suffering of unpleasant feelings.

Each individual first notices that certain things distract from those feelings. So we become addicted to these distractions. Yet, eventually, we realize these addictions inevitably increase our unpleasant feelings. Our minds try to restrict our addictions and our suffering increases.

Then, we notice these unpleasant feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We notice ways to distract ourselves from these thoughts, and becomes addicted to them. We build our lives around these avoidance strategies and they become our master. Inevitably, these lifestyle strategies bring us more unpleasant feelings, or suffering, than we originally tried to avoid. Our minds try to restrict those parts of our lifestyle that cause our suffering, yet our suffering increases. We experience powerlessness.

Then, we try to find the source of the thoughts that cause unpleasant feelings, so as to stop them from arising. We seek in the spiritual teachings of other minds, the ways to remove these thoughts from our own minds. We become addicted to this search. We may, in this search, learn that giving up the control of our lives to an external master reduces our suffering, but doesn’t remove it completely. We may realize that we cannot control our mind, by the power of our mind. Regardless of the kind of spiritual practice we take on, we find some inner peace, yet suffering still persists.

We do all this, while knowing from childhood experience, that physically expressing our unpleasant feeling quickly ends the suffering of that moment. Yet, instead of allowing this natural process to occur, we live for our addictions and give up our self determination to external masters just to avoid that feeling of grief.

Then, only because everything our mind tried has failed, and we have totally run out of ideas, we finally allow the release of the emotion we were avoiding all our lives – only when all other strategies have failed and we have given up in desperation. We are instantly transformed and soon realize that our emotions, especially grief, alone have the power to rapidly repair our mind and its thinking – emotions are the immune system of our minds. As our minds are allowed to heal, we are gradually introduced to our inner master, and eventually, inevitably, no longer require any outer master of addiction, lifestyle or religion.

Then, we become our true selves.

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The mind vs. inner peace

Thought, beliefs, memories and feelings

Understanding the relationship between thoughts, beliefs, memories and feelings helps us to see how we are going in our healing.

At the surface, in our lives we notice feelings. It is our feelings that determine how we go about our lives. Too much negative feelings will hold us down and prevent us from progressing in our lives. Positive feelings will allow us to go for what we really want in life.

When we observe ourselves, we see that certain feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We can observe the associations, the patterns in our thinking. It can be hard to see how these thoughts begin. It is important to understand that it starts with our memory being triggered.

Things in our environment often remind us of a memory. Our mind is set up to work this way in order to understand the world, help us to avoid harm and allow us to find more good things. If that memory has a negative feeling associated with it, we will feel that feeling. Then the feeling can trigger other memories with that feeling, and we spiral into negativity. This is only possible if we have many memories with negative feelings attached to them. Alternatively, if we have a lot of positive memories, they can be triggered to spiral into positivity and empowerment – something we enjoy and often not want to change.

These memories are in turn, associated with beliefs, which are expectations of an experience being repeated. Beliefs are based on our observation of patterns of experiences, as well as things we have learned from others – such as things we are told as children by those we depend on. Having a belief that a negative experience will happen again will amplify the negative feeling, far above the actual feeling attached to the memory. No matter how big the feeling, it always has a negative memory at its core.

If we want to interrupt this process of spiraling negativity, we can remove the triggers of the negative memories, or we can remove the negative emotions from the memories. We can also correct the beliefs, the amplifiers of our memories. We can find a new environment where the negative memories are not so often triggered. This will make the problem occur less often. Trying to remind ourselves of positive things will only hold off the negative memories for a while. Its a short term solution that doesnt solve our problem.

The only long term fix for this issue is to remove the negative emotion from the triggered memories. Then, when these memories are triggered, they cannot cause us to feel negative. We remain positive and empowered. Correcting beliefs alone will not fix the core problem. It will make the negativity reaction we have much less, but it will still occur.

The natural mechanism for removing negative emotion from memories is crying. When we cry we are actually grieving the loss of some part of our selves, our life. The more negative experiences we have had, the more crying we need to do to heal it. When we cry, we also correct the beliefs associated with the memory, because once the emotion is removed from the memory, it becomes easy for the mind to correct the beliefs associated with the likelihood of it reoccurring.

There are so many methods to help us more quickly and easily identify and correct our beliefs, emotional memories, and generally dig things up to be healed. Yet most important of all is our inbuilt tool of crying, to remove emotion from memories, so that all of the mindset that rests upon that memory collapses. We benefit greatly from using methods we learn for healing ourselves emotionally, and they assist, and help our inbuilt tools of crying, dreaming and memory-revision. These methods can help us identify memories that are hard to uncover, and save us a huge amount of time.

Thought, beliefs, memories and feelings

The feeling of not belonging anywhere

some of us just cant find a place to fit in, and in the rare times we feel at home somewhere, it doesnt last.

it is a logical conclusion that the belief that we dont belong anywhere will lead to this experience of life. This is true for all beliefs: if we have them, we will be able to observe the logical expression of them in our lives.

For us who cannot belong because of this belief, we will regularly move on to new places and situations, we will be restless and unable to settle down. All because of one belief.

We may also hold this belief in more than one way. Perhaps we use a guided visualization, alone or with another, and heal one aspect of this in our lives – but then find that nothing changes. We must find all the instances of this belief in ourselves. This includes all the versions of it, some of which are here:

I dont belong here. I dont belong anywhere. I dont fit it. I cant stay here. Its dangerous here. This is not the place for me. Im searching for my home. I shouldnt be here. I cant settle down. I cant connect with this person, place or situation.

There are many more versions of this belief that can affect us. We will experience a feeling, an emotional response to the ones that affect us, when we read or say them. We can work on those.

The feeling of not belonging anywhere

Allowing the guidance of the universe

There are 2 ways to live life. One is to live according to the ideas of the mind. This path leaves us dependent on the ideas and beliefs of others. As children, we dont question the things we are taught, and these become subconscious beliefs that control our lives until we dig them up and change them. Yet we can still follow the guidance of our mind in life, changing certain beliefs as we see fit.

The other way to live is to allow the universe to guide us through our hearts. To live this way, we can follow our inspiration, and avoid those things which we really dont want to do. In fact the hardest part of living this way is to not do what we have been taught that we should do. Part of our upbringing is training about social obligations. We are expected to do certain things to keep society going.

Should society continue as it is – with war, repression, secret abuse, corruption? When we take a good look at society, we see that it is an unsustainable disaster. Can we be certain that the guidance of our hearts will make the world worse than it is now? We can forget about the obligations of a corrupt society.

In reality, we express a combination of these 2 ways of living. There are always times when we follow our inspiration, and just do what we really want to do, regardless of the consequences. There are times that we do what we believe we should do, out of obligation of fear of the unknown, regardless of the terrible feeling we get from it – regardless of the stagnation in our lives.

The single change that leads to improvement in our lives is to follow our inspiration more. We cant just suddenly transform our lives overnight, as some people say is possible. Our transformation to allow more guidance from the universe in our lives is gradual. It takes practice. It takes persistence. It is greatly helped by feeling hopeless or stuck. It requires getting to know ourselves, getting to know the feeling of inspiration. It requires understanding that only the mind uses words. Inspiration never uses words, just want and not want.

We are allowed to follow our hearts. We are allowed to reject the faulty guidance of society. It is our right to live as we wish.

Allowing the guidance of the universe

Depression and despair

Depression and despair are easy to understand. It is a memory of a feeling that you had when something bad happened to you.

Your mind is trying to heal you by releasing the negative energy. Allow it, by releasing the grief or anger or fear.

Then you can relive the memory of the experience that made you sad, and can put that memory in its proper place – your past.

You can use guided meditations or other methods to help you return to the painful memory in a safe way, and release the emotion attached to the memory. Then, that painful experience will no longer hold you back in life. You will be free of that chain.

Depression and despair

Feeling wrong or inappropriate

Some of us constantly worry that we are somehow being inappropriate. We just have the feeling of being wrong, without being able to identify what it is that we have done.

Perhaps this comes from a fear of punishment, or rejection. We may have been punished as children for our behavior, but not clearly understood what we actually did wrong. Or we may have been rejected a lot but not understood why.

This can lead us to become hypervigilant – always worrying about our behavior. How tiring! It can affect our self confidence, if we always worry about doing something wrong. We cannot have trust in ourselves and we cannot have the confidence we need to go for what we really want in life.

We are the ones who decide what is OK or not in our behavior. If we do something to upset other people, we are going to notice, because their behavior toward us will change and they will clearly let us know. Usually, others will not pay attention to us, or interact with us in a friendly way. That’s because our behavior is fine.

If something happens that shows we upset someone, or did something wrong, we will notice because of the evidence. Without the evidence, we don’t need to pay attention to it.

We don’t need to waste our creative energy on worrying about our behavior. We can just go and do what we are inspired to do. Our wisdom will inform us if there is a problem.

Feeling wrong or inappropriate

The fallacy of hopelessness

Most of us have experienced the feeling that there is no hope, no way out of this “mess”.

This occurs when our mind is unable to think of a way out of a situation it finds awful. our set of beliefs about life and the situation, cause a dead end. we are stuck.
essential for this feeling, is the inability to turn to the heart for the solution. the heart always has a solution, a way out, and it is only by being really disconnected that we have the possibility of feeling hopeless.

In this situation, the mind is totally wrong.

the feeling of hopelessness is actually a built-in mecahnism to repair faulty beliefs. yet faulty beliefs can be used to disrupt this mechanism. the human mind is a complicated thing, because it has the capacity to hold a large number of logical inconsistencies – a very useful ability you will inevitably appreciate.

the way to get out of this experience of hoplessness is to allow the emotions to do the job they do so well. we can express those emotions in a place that allows it to be done freely. but, without letting the mind trick us into taking any action while we are letting the emotions repair our mind. decisions are not to be made during this process.

generally, at some stage in the process, there will be tears. This interesting biological behavior seems to be associated with a state of super-thinking – im not sure how to describe it in another way. While crying, there is a capacity to destroy false beliefs that cannot be matched by any therapy i know. Crying has a great influence on our beliefs and state of mind. Specifically, things we are attached to or that we think are important, no longer hold us trapped. We are able to let go of things that we couldnt let go before crying.

We need observe only once the connection between the feeling of hopelessness and the subsequent healing of the mind from false beliefs. From that moment, we never need to worry about feeling hopeless, because we now recognise it as a precursor to healing and improvement in our lives. This doesnt mean we will never get stuck in this feeling again, but it certainly means we will quickly remember to let our emotions do the work, and start our healing.

The fallacy of hopelessness