The mind vs. inner peace

Since before we developed writing, we have pursued ways to avoid the suffering of unpleasant feelings.

Each individual first notices that certain things distract from those feelings. So we become addicted to these distractions. Yet, eventually, we realize these addictions inevitably increase our unpleasant feelings. Our minds try to restrict our addictions and our suffering increases.

Then, we notice these unpleasant feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We notice ways to distract ourselves from these thoughts, and becomes addicted to them. We build our lives around these avoidance strategies and they become our master. Inevitably, these lifestyle strategies bring us more unpleasant feelings, or suffering, than we originally tried to avoid. Our minds try to restrict those parts of our lifestyle that cause our suffering, yet our suffering increases. We experience powerlessness.

Then, we try to find the source of the thoughts that cause unpleasant feelings, so as to stop them from arising. We seek in the spiritual teachings of other minds, the ways to remove these thoughts from our own minds. We become addicted to this search. We may, in this search, learn that giving up the control of our lives to an external master reduces our suffering, but doesn’t remove it completely. We may realize that we cannot control our mind, by the power of our mind. Regardless of the kind of spiritual practice we take on, we find some inner peace, yet suffering still persists.

We do all this, while knowing from childhood experience, that physically expressing our unpleasant feeling quickly ends the suffering of that moment. Yet, instead of allowing this natural process to occur, we live for our addictions and give up our self determination to external masters just to avoid that feeling of grief.

Then, only because everything our mind tried has failed, and we have totally run out of ideas, we finally allow the release of the emotion we were avoiding all our lives – only when all other strategies have failed and we have given up in desperation. We are instantly transformed and soon realize that our emotions, especially grief, alone have the power to rapidly repair our mind and its thinking – emotions are the immune system of our minds. As our minds are allowed to heal, we are gradually introduced to our inner master, and eventually, inevitably, no longer require any outer master of addiction, lifestyle or religion.

Then, we become our true selves.

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The mind vs. inner peace

Self-destructive behavior

It is increasingly understood that self-destructive behavior is an expression of past child abuse or trauma. Yet it seems illogical that survivors of abuse would harm themselves rather than the abuser.

But, on the level of energy, self-destructive behavior makes sense.

We store the essence of our life experiences in our bodies. We can also hide unpleasant past experiences by reducing our connection to that part of the body that stores the essence of that experience. That part of our body is also less connected to our physical immunity and is more susceptible to disease and illness.

After we have survived our traumatic experiences and find a relatively safe life situation, our body’s emotional tools begin to heal the effect of the trauma. We go through the stages of shock, anger, sadness, grief and finally re-empowerment. The essence of the traumatic experience is transformed into an even deeper essence on the spiritual level, that allows our spirit to understand cause and effect, and allows us to avoid actions that lead to harmful outcomes. Most simply, we learn from our experiences at the deepest level and our spirit retains this lesson. Our being returns to a peaceful state and the parts of our body that held that essence return to their normal wellness.

However, in order to survive the extended trauma of war, our culture teaches us to suppress emotional expression, especially negative emotions, and especially crying – we are taught to ‘harden our hearts’. Faced with these restrictions on our self-expression, we turn to deeper defense mechanisms such as self-destructive behavior. It simply stems from the unwavering desire to process the essence of the trauma. That essence must be moved, released, processed, one way or another. We turn to self-destructive behavior to give essential attention to the agitated body. It is like scratching an itch until it is an open wound. We may continue with self-destructive behavior until it becomes another traumatic phase in our life.

On a cultural level, a nation will eventually self-destruct if it cannot find a way out of this self-defeating trap. This final, worst-case outcome protects the human species from groups that follow a non-peaceful path – they will eventually destroy themselves, and the culture that preserves their self-destructive behavior weakens and collapses.

Without understanding why we engage in self-destructive behavior, we cannot easily break out of that strategy, that habit. We remain unaware of the consequence of the cultural restrictions on our emotional expression. We remain a victim of our trauma or abuse until we reject the guidance of our ignorant culture.

Once we encounter information about the cause of our self-destructive behavior, we can return to our emotional healing mechanisms and recover from the past trauma. Starting our recovery, we also end the journey of that trauma from generation to generation, because we become the one that stops the cycle of abuse and trauma. We are not only healing ourselves, but we open the door of healing for those around us and for our culture. More than becoming a recovering individual, we become a healing node in our culture.

Self-destructive behavior

The fallacy of hopelessness

Most of us have experienced the feeling that there is no hope, no way out of this “mess”.

This occurs when our mind is unable to think of a way out of a situation it finds awful. our set of beliefs about life and the situation, cause a dead end. we are stuck.
essential for this feeling, is the inability to turn to the heart for the solution. the heart always has a solution, a way out, and it is only by being really disconnected that we have the possibility of feeling hopeless.

In this situation, the mind is totally wrong.

the feeling of hopelessness is actually a built-in mecahnism to repair faulty beliefs. yet faulty beliefs can be used to disrupt this mechanism. the human mind is a complicated thing, because it has the capacity to hold a large number of logical inconsistencies – a very useful ability you will inevitably appreciate.

the way to get out of this experience of hoplessness is to allow the emotions to do the job they do so well. we can express those emotions in a place that allows it to be done freely. but, without letting the mind trick us into taking any action while we are letting the emotions repair our mind. decisions are not to be made during this process.

generally, at some stage in the process, there will be tears. This interesting biological behavior seems to be associated with a state of super-thinking – im not sure how to describe it in another way. While crying, there is a capacity to destroy false beliefs that cannot be matched by any therapy i know. Crying has a great influence on our beliefs and state of mind. Specifically, things we are attached to or that we think are important, no longer hold us trapped. We are able to let go of things that we couldnt let go before crying.

We need observe only once the connection between the feeling of hopelessness and the subsequent healing of the mind from false beliefs. From that moment, we never need to worry about feeling hopeless, because we now recognise it as a precursor to healing and improvement in our lives. This doesnt mean we will never get stuck in this feeling again, but it certainly means we will quickly remember to let our emotions do the work, and start our healing.

The fallacy of hopelessness