How we live our lives

From birth we are taught, programmed with the ways of our family and our society. If we experience a loving environment, we will live out our lives mostly as directed, and enjoy a sense of satisfaction and achievement. We live in a way that we believe is good. We are likely to bring up our own children similarly.

Alternatively, the more that love is absent in our upbringing, the more unstable the foundation of out training and programming. As we live our lives, it is not so easy to feel at peace with living as we were brought up to live.

In the most abusive extremes, it is impossible to fit into society. The values we have learned are irreversibly associated with emotional pain. Those of us with a loving upbringing cant understand why others cant live in the accepted way, and those of us with emotional conflict cannot understand how most people can live a stable, ordinary life – even if we would like to be able to live that way, to try is to suffer.

A healthy society tolerates and accommodates those of us who cannot fit in – allowing us to find our own ways to survive,  heal and contribute as we wish.

A collapsing society punishes those of us who cant fit in, or forces us to live on the fringe of society  – or even in exile, out of sight. One form of exile is forced institutionalization and forced medication – criminalization of non-conformity by societies that have degraded into brutality.

When those of us that cannot fit in, we are forced to conceal our incompatibility. Through overt or covert persuasion, our ability to find a comfortable niche in society is diminished. Therefore, our opportunity to heal from those experiences that have traumatized us, is also interfered with by the distraction of constantly seeking safety.

In the most extreme societies, people are brainwashed so that those in control can use them as a weapon against that threaten their hold on power. This is a form of slavery, where a persons independence and freedom is taken from them. Even children are violated in this way, and used as weapons once they get older. Inevitably, these people are used to attack others in their own society. It is a sign that those in power are no longer of benefit to society, but have long been a great harm. Eventually, collapse of that society is guaranteed.

How we live our lives

We are not damaged by abuse

One aspect of our abuse is the feeling we have that we are permanently affected, damaged, by the abuse we survived.

Yes, we are affected by our abuse, that is the intention. But we are not damaged. We are able to fully heal. Our full healing, is inevitable, eventually.

Our abuse is part of our development as a spirit. It does not harm our spirit, but it loads programming onto our spirit. Programming that can be changed. Our spirit can carry beliefs to subsequent lives. This allows our beliefs to set up our life experience, lifetime after lifetime.

Its important to understand that our life experience is caused by programming. Our beliefs lead to thoughts that then lead to certain emotions. Our beliefs are the controlling factor in our life experience. And our beliefs are programmed.

To change our life experience, we simply need to reprogram our spirit. When we change our programming, our thoughts and feeling change to match it. The most important thing for us to do is to find out what our programming is and how to change it.

We can use guided visualizations, that trace our feelings and thoughts, and beliefs, back to their origin, where we can consciously reprogram ourselves. We keep tracing these things back and reprogramming until we have cleared out all the false beliefs that influence our lives.

We need to identify the thoughts and feelings and beliefs to trace them back. We don’t need to continue experiencing them. When we begin to use these methods to trace back, to remember the original source of these beliefs, we realize that we are using a natural capacity, we are naturally set up to be able to do this. There is no abuse or programming we cant heal.

We are not damaged by abuse

Thought, beliefs, memories and feelings

Understanding the relationship between thoughts, beliefs, memories and feelings helps us to see how we are going in our healing.

At the surface, in our lives we notice feelings. It is our feelings that determine how we go about our lives. Too much negative feelings will hold us down and prevent us from progressing in our lives. Positive feelings will allow us to go for what we really want in life.

When we observe ourselves, we see that certain feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We can observe the associations, the patterns in our thinking. It can be hard to see how these thoughts begin. It is important to understand that it starts with our memory being triggered.

Things in our environment often remind us of a memory. Our mind is set up to work this way in order to understand the world, help us to avoid harm and allow us to find more good things. If that memory has a negative feeling associated with it, we will feel that feeling. Then the feeling can trigger other memories with that feeling, and we spiral into negativity. This is only possible if we have many memories with negative feelings attached to them. Alternatively, if we have a lot of positive memories, they can be triggered to spiral into positivity and empowerment – something we enjoy and often not want to change.

These memories are in turn, associated with beliefs, which are expectations of an experience being repeated. Beliefs are based on our observation of patterns of experiences, as well as things we have learned from others – such as things we are told as children by those we depend on. Having a belief that a negative experience will happen again will amplify the negative feeling, far above the actual feeling attached to the memory. No matter how big the feeling, it always has a negative memory at its core.

If we want to interrupt this process of spiraling negativity, we can remove the triggers of the negative memories, or we can remove the negative emotions from the memories. We can also correct the beliefs, the amplifiers of our memories. We can find a new environment where the negative memories are not so often triggered. This will make the problem occur less often. Trying to remind ourselves of positive things will only hold off the negative memories for a while. Its a short term solution that doesnt solve our problem.

The only long term fix for this issue is to remove the negative emotion from the triggered memories. Then, when these memories are triggered, they cannot cause us to feel negative. We remain positive and empowered. Correcting beliefs alone will not fix the core problem. It will make the negativity reaction we have much less, but it will still occur.

The natural mechanism for removing negative emotion from memories is crying. When we cry we are actually grieving the loss of some part of our selves, our life. The more negative experiences we have had, the more crying we need to do to heal it. When we cry, we also correct the beliefs associated with the memory, because once the emotion is removed from the memory, it becomes easy for the mind to correct the beliefs associated with the likelihood of it reoccurring.

There are so many methods to help us more quickly and easily identify and correct our beliefs, emotional memories, and generally dig things up to be healed. Yet most important of all is our inbuilt tool of crying, to remove emotion from memories, so that all of the mindset that rests upon that memory collapses. We benefit greatly from using methods we learn for healing ourselves emotionally, and they assist, and help our inbuilt tools of crying, dreaming and memory-revision. These methods can help us identify memories that are hard to uncover, and save us a huge amount of time.

Thought, beliefs, memories and feelings

Truth and Belief

Often the words truth and belief are used interchangeably. Yet their meaning is very different.

Truth is a word that means “what actually is”. It is irrelevant what people believe to be true. Belief has no influence on the truth. There are some truths that nobody knows, about something that is. Yet it still is. Truth exists, whether people know it or not.

There are 2 main kinds of truth. Truths that are defined by people, and truths that are defined by nature. We can point at a cat and say it is a cat. This is true because it has been pre-defined. We can look at the earth and say it is spherical, not flat. This is a truth defined by nature – the earth is either spherical or it is not. We rely on evidence to decide what we believe to be true.

Belief is opinion. A belief is what we THINK is true. We can believe the earth is not a sphere, yet our belief does not make the earth what we believe it to be. The earth will continue to retain its shape regardless of what humans on its surface believe. Humans hope to know the truth of something, by observing and considering evidence. But humans cannot control the truth they do not define.

A person who believes the earth is flat will highlight certain observations made, and will not mention other evidence that may not support their belief. One who believes the earth is a sphere will point out evidence that supports their conclusion, and ignore whatever does not support their belief. Both groups cannot be correct about what the shape of the earth is. Both cannot be true.

In order to know the truths defined by nature, by the universe, we must rely on the scientific method to collect evidence, postulate and test theories. We cannot make an arbitrary definition. The universe will not change its nature to suit our demands.

With regard to the shape of the Earth, we can point to other evidence such as the earths magnetic field, star charts made from different locations, and the coriolis force (that causes tubs to drain in different directions in the northern and southern hemisphere) to help us decide what is true. These things combined with other evidence, make it increasingly likely that the truth is that the earth is spherical, and increasingly unlikely that it is flat. The likelihood that the earth is spherical is so strong that most of us accept that it is so, and dont think about it further.

There are many truths that are simply not yet known by humans, and people argue about that their belief is the one that matches the natural truth. Insufficient evidence is no impediment to opinion. And belief is opinion.

Truth and Belief

The feeling of not belonging anywhere

some of us just cant find a place to fit in, and in the rare times we feel at home somewhere, it doesnt last.

it is a logical conclusion that the belief that we dont belong anywhere will lead to this experience of life. This is true for all beliefs: if we have them, we will be able to observe the logical expression of them in our lives.

For us who cannot belong because of this belief, we will regularly move on to new places and situations, we will be restless and unable to settle down. All because of one belief.

We may also hold this belief in more than one way. Perhaps we use a guided visualization, alone or with another, and heal one aspect of this in our lives – but then find that nothing changes. We must find all the instances of this belief in ourselves. This includes all the versions of it, some of which are here:

I dont belong here. I dont belong anywhere. I dont fit it. I cant stay here. Its dangerous here. This is not the place for me. Im searching for my home. I shouldnt be here. I cant settle down. I cant connect with this person, place or situation.

There are many more versions of this belief that can affect us. We will experience a feeling, an emotional response to the ones that affect us, when we read or say them. We can work on those.

The feeling of not belonging anywhere

Allowing the guidance of the universe

There are 2 ways to live life. One is to live according to the ideas of the mind. This path leaves us dependent on the ideas and beliefs of others. As children, we dont question the things we are taught, and these become subconscious beliefs that control our lives until we dig them up and change them. Yet we can still follow the guidance of our mind in life, changing certain beliefs as we see fit.

The other way to live is to allow the universe to guide us through our hearts. To live this way, we can follow our inspiration, and avoid those things which we really dont want to do. In fact the hardest part of living this way is to not do what we have been taught that we should do. Part of our upbringing is training about social obligations. We are expected to do certain things to keep society going.

Should society continue as it is – with war, repression, secret abuse, corruption? When we take a good look at society, we see that it is an unsustainable disaster. Can we be certain that the guidance of our hearts will make the world worse than it is now? We can forget about the obligations of a corrupt society.

In reality, we express a combination of these 2 ways of living. There are always times when we follow our inspiration, and just do what we really want to do, regardless of the consequences. There are times that we do what we believe we should do, out of obligation of fear of the unknown, regardless of the terrible feeling we get from it – regardless of the stagnation in our lives.

The single change that leads to improvement in our lives is to follow our inspiration more. We cant just suddenly transform our lives overnight, as some people say is possible. Our transformation to allow more guidance from the universe in our lives is gradual. It takes practice. It takes persistence. It is greatly helped by feeling hopeless or stuck. It requires getting to know ourselves, getting to know the feeling of inspiration. It requires understanding that only the mind uses words. Inspiration never uses words, just want and not want.

We are allowed to follow our hearts. We are allowed to reject the faulty guidance of society. It is our right to live as we wish.

Allowing the guidance of the universe

Living by repressed strategies

When we look at the pattern of our lives, we can see that we use certain strategies to deal with the world. Each pattern has a strategy driving it. We may see patterns in our lives, and want to free ourselves from their limiting effect.

We develop these strategies based on childhood decisions and beliefs. Some of these strategies lead to success in our lives. These are not the ones that frustrate us. We are frustrated by the ones that limit our freedom and block our success.

One way for us to work out the strategy behind the pattern is to think it out, keeping in mind the childhood thinking that made it possible. Childhood thinking is forever-everywhere-thinking. As children we make decisions about how we are, and how the world is. We easily create beliefs that apply indefinitely.

More extreme limiting beliefs lead to more extreme strategies. For example, those of us who essentially live like hermits, spending most of our time alone, living in out of the way places, do so because of a strategy, not because of our personality. This strategy requires beliefs about safety being in places about other people. These beliefs require experiences that tell us all people bring danger. This example shows how to trace a pattern to a strategy to a belief. We will know by our emotional reaction,  if there is any truth to the connection.

Another pattern we may see ourselves sometimes live, is desperately seeking help, having a really strong emotional need for help, when difficulties come along in life. We then employ a strategy to get help in proportion to our emotional need for it. Yet it may be an excessive reaction. We probably don’t need as much help as we think we do. We are experiencing a memory of needing help. A memory of a more extreme experience, that led us to believe that difficult times put us in a position of being helpless.

These examples show strategies that are based on emotional memories of past events. They are simply too extreme. In order to have appropriate responses to the sitiation s we have in our adult lives, we need to remove the emotion from the belief. This then stops the strategy, because it is energised by the emotional memory.

The other approach to dealing with extreme strategies is to try to make them less extreme. With our minds we can decide what is logical, and apply our mental energy. This method takes a huge amount of effort, creates enormous struggle in our lives, and doesn’t actually work – because it is treating the symptoms rather than the cause. It is futile.

Better to dig up the emotion, clear the memory of its emotional baggage and limiting belief – and watch the limiting strategy disappear from our lives without further effort.

Living by repressed strategies