The mind vs. inner peace

Since before we developed writing, we have pursued ways to avoid the suffering of unpleasant feelings.

Each individual first notices that certain things distract from those feelings. So we become addicted to these distractions. Yet, eventually, we realize these addictions inevitably increase our unpleasant feelings. Our minds try to restrict our addictions and our suffering increases.

Then, we notice these unpleasant feelings are associated with certain thoughts. We notice ways to distract ourselves from these thoughts, and becomes addicted to them. We build our lives around these avoidance strategies and they become our master. Inevitably, these lifestyle strategies bring us more unpleasant feelings, or suffering, than we originally tried to avoid. Our minds try to restrict those parts of our lifestyle that cause our suffering, yet our suffering increases. We experience powerlessness.

Then, we try to find the source of the thoughts that cause unpleasant feelings, so as to stop them from arising. We seek in the spiritual teachings of other minds, the ways to remove these thoughts from our own minds. We become addicted to this search. We may, in this search, learn that giving up the control of our lives to an external master reduces our suffering, but doesn’t remove it completely. We may realize that we cannot control our mind, by the power of our mind. Regardless of the kind of spiritual practice we take on, we find some inner peace, yet suffering still persists.

We do all this, while knowing from childhood experience, that physically expressing our unpleasant feeling quickly ends the suffering of that moment. Yet, instead of allowing this natural process to occur, we live for our addictions and give up our self determination to external masters just to avoid that feeling of grief.

Then, only because everything our mind tried has failed, and we have totally run out of ideas, we finally allow the release of the emotion we were avoiding all our lives – only when all other strategies have failed and we have given up in desperation. We are instantly transformed and soon realize that our emotions, especially grief, alone have the power to rapidly repair our mind and its thinking – emotions are the immune system of our minds. As our minds are allowed to heal, we are gradually introduced to our inner master, and eventually, inevitably, no longer require any outer master of addiction, lifestyle or religion.

Then, we become our true selves.

The mind vs. inner peace

Eating food to feel sick

Some people have the habit of repeatedly eating food that makes them feel sick. It is a kind of addiction. Before eating the food, there is only the consideration of its taste. Once eaten, then comes the ill feeling that is the intention of the behavior. It is a typical addiction.

I’m writing about this because its an addiction i have had all my life, and i have recently made significant progress with it. Suddenly I’m eating much less sugar, and feeling much better.

I have tried to resolve this issue for a long time, but only recently I was direct enough with myself to acknowledge to actual consequences of my addiction. I realized i was eating sugary foods in order to feel sick.

As an adult, this makes no sense at all. This refusal to acknowledge things that dont make sense is part of the denial, part of the addiction. Because it is not logical, nonsensical, we can avoid considering the actual reality of the situation. However, the decision to employ this lifestyle strategy was not made as an adult. It was made in the early years of life.  A child can easily make such a decision, because it is without an understanding of the long term consequences. The decision is made to achieve a short term goal. The decision is very logical.

Sick is safe.

This is the logic that solves the childhood problem. When a child feels sick, they are less likely to receive anger from the adults around them. They are less likely to resist and fight against treatment they dont like, and therefore less likely to engage in a confrontation with adults which results in suffering. They may even get sympathy and care. Either way, for some children, being sick leads to a better life.

As a child, we decide “Im going to be like this from now on”. We dont decide “Im going to be like this until …”. As children we make decisions “from now on”. These decisions apply until we undo them. no matter how deeply they are hidden in our unconscious minds. They control our lives until they are undone.

Only when i made the connection between sickness and safety, could i make progress with my addiction. I spent a while thinking in different ways about the issue, but only when i considered it in this way did i start eating less sugar.

I used a guided visualization to address this childhood decision and undo it. I used a process by Christopher Howard called the “Decision Destroyer”. Its not the only guided visualization that can undo obsolete childhood decisions. There are others that will work just fine. I have also used visualizations by Brandon Bays that have been really effective. And i have used visualizations i have created myself “on the fly”. My experience is that the results of doing visualizations are permanent. Once the childhood decision is changed, there is no relapse, because the cause is removed.

Eating food to feel sick