When we look at the pattern of our lives, we can see that we use certain strategies to deal with the world. Each pattern has a strategy driving it. We may see patterns in our lives, and want to free ourselves from their limiting effect.
We develop these strategies based on childhood decisions and beliefs. Some of these strategies lead to success in our lives. These are not the ones that frustrate us. We are frustrated by the ones that limit our freedom and block our success.
One way for us to work out the strategy behind the pattern is to think it out, keeping in mind the childhood thinking that made it possible. Childhood thinking is forever-everywhere-thinking. As children we make decisions about how we are, and how the world is. We easily create beliefs that apply indefinitely.
More extreme limiting beliefs lead to more extreme strategies. For example, those of us who essentially live like hermits, spending most of our time alone, living in out of the way places, do so because of a strategy, not because of our personality. This strategy requires beliefs about safety being in places about other people. These beliefs require experiences that tell us all people bring danger. This example shows how to trace a pattern to a strategy to a belief. We will know by our emotional reaction, if there is any truth to the connection.
Another pattern we may see ourselves sometimes live, is desperately seeking help, having a really strong emotional need for help, when difficulties come along in life. We then employ a strategy to get help in proportion to our emotional need for it. Yet it may be an excessive reaction. We probably don’t need as much help as we think we do. We are experiencing a memory of needing help. A memory of a more extreme experience, that led us to believe that difficult times put us in a position of being helpless.
These examples show strategies that are based on emotional memories of past events. They are simply too extreme. In order to have appropriate responses to the sitiation s we have in our adult lives, we need to remove the emotion from the belief. This then stops the strategy, because it is energised by the emotional memory.
The other approach to dealing with extreme strategies is to try to make them less extreme. With our minds we can decide what is logical, and apply our mental energy. This method takes a huge amount of effort, creates enormous struggle in our lives, and doesn’t actually work – because it is treating the symptoms rather than the cause. It is futile.
Better to dig up the emotion, clear the memory of its emotional baggage and limiting belief – and watch the limiting strategy disappear from our lives without further effort.