Humans are naturally social, and love to be around others. In fact, it is a basic human need to belong to a community. Community is the essential mechanism for preserving culture and technology, and humans have evolved to prosper as a community – a group of people who creates together.
Yet some of us withdraw from community. We find it is easier, because of the stress that comes from direct social interaction. This stress is a result of subconscious beliefs, that are inconsistent with the reality that presents itself to us. The beliefs tell us to doubt what we observe.
Rather than enjoying interaction with others, we hold beliefs that tell us what we see is not correct, that something is wrong – beliefs, such as those that relate to our acceptance by others, our value as people, the appropriateness of our behavior, and our value to the surrounding community.
If we hold subconscious beliefs that tell us that we are unworthy in these ways, we will logically mistrust any social indications that suggest we have worth. This is stressful and tiring.
If we hold subconscious beliefs about our lack of worth, it will simply be easier for us to withdraw from our community. We will find a compromise between the stress of socialization and the irrepressible need to socialize. We may live without any community, even if surrounded by people.
Correcting false subconscious beliefs about our worth will transform our lives and allow us to sustainably belong to a community. These subconscious beliefs come from emotional experiences that suggested we have little worth to those in our community. The beliefs that are held match the experience that created them.
Childhood is the most common source. As a child our community is small. If everyone around us treats us as if we have no worth, we will conclude that we have no worth, and therefore, we expect that all people will treat us this way. If everyone around us consistently blames us and says we are at fault and should be punished, we will conclude that we are always at fault, and we expect that everyone will always treat us accordingly.
As children, experiences that persist, become a large percentage of our life, and we are likely to conclude that it will continue indefinitely.
With the expectation of continued suffering, we grow up and try to live in the world. Our subconscious beliefs, our childhood conclusions, constantly project their expectations into our conscious mind. We learn to ignore it, but it never goes away, it never becomes easy.
Subconscious beliefs, true and false, influence our lives by subtly projecting expectations into our conscious mind. But, the mechanism of projecting subconscious beliefs that causes us suffering, is also the tool that allows us to heal. It must enter our conscious mind to affect us, and because it is in our conscious mind, we can identify it. We can decide to stop ignoring the projected expectations, start observing, and finally identify our false beliefs. Once identified, we can correct them. It is especially useful to correct these false beliefs by expressing the emotions we feel when we identify or consider the belief.