Always feeling uneasy

There is a feeling, in the pit of the abdomen, of uneasiness. A feeling that something isn’t right, a feeling that something bad may happen.

Some of us have this feeling occasionally, some of us usually have it. It depends on our childhood experiences. The worse our childhood experiences, the more often we will experience this feeling.

When we have this feeling, it destroys our confidence. We can’t create new things in our life, we can’t build our version of success in our lives.

Most of us get this feeling occasionally and it stops our life. We can’t move ahead until is passes. After it passes we can continue where we left off. It doesn’t stop our whole lives.

Some of us get this feeling a lot. It may shut down our life for hours or days. We can’t face the world and this fear causes us to withdraw from the world. It sabotages the success we try to build in our lives. We must put our lives on hold until we get through this experience. Some things we have created in our lives may get destroyed. We have had childhood experiences that have seriously harmed our ability to live.

Some of us have this feeling almost constantly. Usually it sits in the background of our mind and absorbs our confidence. We rarely have the opportunity to create something in our life. On the rare occasion that is feeling isn’t present, we are able to make big changes in our life, usually to get out of a situation we no longer desire. Then the feeling returns and we seek out a situation of comfort and safety. This feeling may sabotage the building of any success in our life. We may remain poor, or socially isolated, even homeless and destitute. We may know we are different to other people, but not understand why we cannot do what most people can do. It is because of this fear, this memory of the childhood expectation of bad experiences.

To heal this effect of child abuse, we must confront the beliefs behind it, and grieve away the emotion from that place. Rather than use drugs like heroin, alcohol, nicotine or sugar to repress the feel in, we must allow the feeling to arise so that it can be processed, remembered and cleared. Its not easy to heal from this, but in the long term, life becomes happier and enjoyable.

Always feeling uneasy

Why satanic sacrifice doesn’t lead to special powers

The ancient practice of sacrificing animals and humans for personal gain continues uninterrupted by any of the advances in human spirituality.
Personal gain is a misunderstanding of the universe. Most humans are trained to think they are separate from the universe, and that personal gain is the only measure of success. Some people extend their concept of personal gain to their spirit, and concern themselves with personal gain in the next life.
The practice of sacrifice for personal gain requires a particularly extreme misunderstanding of the universe. Those who practice is learn that it will bring to them supernatural powers, and power over others, even in the afterlife.
A misunderstanding about this relates to the effect of murder. Those few who would kill for power, will get power. This is because most people simply won’t kill for power and also avoid getting killed. These people simply step aside and wish to go about their lives in their own peaceful way. Those left killing for power play a game of “winner takes all”. They may falsely believe that sacrifice led to their victory, but it really is just because they are murderers. Sacrifices are not necessary.
Another misunderstanding arises from believing the idea that a particular path in life will have a different effect as time progresses. It is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. This flawed logic quickly develops into the belief that the action didn’t have the desired result because it was not done enough. So it is with sacrifice. Human sacrifice is believed to be much better than animal sacrifice, by the same flawed thinking.
Those who practice forms of satanism gradually increase the extremity of their acts because they don’t get the desired results. By the time they get old, they still haven’t gained any supernatural powers they didn’t already have, but they have gained power within their group and society, simply by their ruthlessness.
An example of this same flawed thinking is found in the economic policy of “quantitative easing”. Because increasing debt and its burden on society didn’t stop the slide into increasing stagnation, it was believed that not enough debt was created – it wasn’t done enough. So the QE is increased, and further contributes to stagnation. It is the same thinking, by the same groups of people. They believe they are in power because they are superior, but in reality they are in power because they are ruthless.
The truth of the universe is that you will receive what you give. This is the important lesson for lose who worship evil. The sooner they get out of this practice of worshipping evil, the sooner they can earn happiness in life. This is earned by allowing their contribution to the universe to return to them. They must receive what they gave, before they can earn the happiness they seek.
This is also a warning to those who are considering using the “dark arts” to get what they want in life. You are being lied to about what you will really get. Like any pyramid scam, you are just falling prey to those who are above you in the hierarchy, and you will never leave the bottom end of the scheme. You will never receive the riches and power you were promised. You will only live out your life in secret regret. Just get away from the people who are promising these things to you. Seek happiness in the only place it can ever be found – your own heart.

Why satanic sacrifice doesn’t lead to special powers

Disillusionment and making the future so

Much of our thinking and effort is to produce certain outcomes in the future. Our minds, for reasons of fear, require the future to be a certain way.
Disillusionment arises when our mind determines that its efforts are not likely to achieve its goals. Its not working out how we want.
Yet these goals of the mind are all taught to it by others. There is not one goal of the mind that is its own creation. Most are simply reactions to the popular fears of other minds, taken up by human cultures. Our minds are trained by fear-based cultures.
We could continue to spend our lives pursuing other peoples idea of a good outcome. Yet, we don’t find satisfaction in these outcomes. The happiness they promise never comes. At best we can achieve relief from our learned fears. Is relief from fears enough to make life worthwhile?
There is a part of us that can produce outcomes that lead to satisfaction and happiness. Through the intuition of the heart, we can create goals that are original to us, and will lead to satisfaction and happiness. Only our heart, our inbuilt divine guidance, can steer our life to what we truly seek.
It is only a question of our ability to follow the guidance of our heart in opposition to our fearful, programmed mind. Our mind will strive to steer our lives according to its misguided beliefs. To follow the hearts guidance without battling the mind, the mind must be corrected. We can observe our minds beliefs and expose their fallacy with the tool of logic. The more we correct the false beliefs of the mind, the more we are able to follow our hearts guidance without the mind fighting against us.

Disillusionment and making the future so

Allowing the guidance of the universe

There are 2 ways to live life. One is to live according to the ideas of the mind. This path leaves us dependent on the ideas and beliefs of others. As children, we dont question the things we are taught, and these become subconscious beliefs that control our lives until we dig them up and change them. Yet we can still follow the guidance of our mind in life, changing certain beliefs as we see fit.

The other way to live is to allow the universe to guide us through our hearts. To live this way, we can follow our inspiration, and avoid those things which we really dont want to do. In fact the hardest part of living this way is to not do what we have been taught that we should do. Part of our upbringing is training about social obligations. We are expected to do certain things to keep society going.

Should society continue as it is – with war, repression, secret abuse, corruption? When we take a good look at society, we see that it is an unsustainable disaster. Can we be certain that the guidance of our hearts will make the world worse than it is now? We can forget about the obligations of a corrupt society.

In reality, we express a combination of these 2 ways of living. There are always times when we follow our inspiration, and just do what we really want to do, regardless of the consequences. There are times that we do what we believe we should do, out of obligation of fear of the unknown, regardless of the terrible feeling we get from it – regardless of the stagnation in our lives.

The single change that leads to improvement in our lives is to follow our inspiration more. We cant just suddenly transform our lives overnight, as some people say is possible. Our transformation to allow more guidance from the universe in our lives is gradual. It takes practice. It takes persistence. It is greatly helped by feeling hopeless or stuck. It requires getting to know ourselves, getting to know the feeling of inspiration. It requires understanding that only the mind uses words. Inspiration never uses words, just want and not want.

We are allowed to follow our hearts. We are allowed to reject the faulty guidance of society. It is our right to live as we wish.

Allowing the guidance of the universe

Keeping silent about past trauma

We often dont speak out about our childhood traumatic experiences or war trauma.

Great fear is attached to speaking out, especially for child abuse survivors – fear taught at the time of abuse. In extreme circumstances, that extends to a fear of punishment, torture and death.War veterans are also made to feel their stories are unwelcome. Governments that wish to continue using war to retain power do not want veterans revealing the truth of war.

Also, tools such as money are used to maintain victim silence. It is sometimes called silence money – it is given to the victim in a trickle over time, it stimulates silence programming and helps keep them silent. The survivor will remain poor and silent as long as this money is accepted. Some people consider state welfare as a kind of silence money when applied to these situations. However, it is very important that we speak out and tell our story anyway. speaking out is an essential part of healing from the trauma.

We also notice that the general public doesnt really want to hear about our abuse or trauma. People become uncomfortable around us once they know about our traumatic experiences. Some may just avoid us after that. We may decide to just not tell anyone, but this is not a strategy that will lead to healing. A better strategy is to select those who we tell. We can publish our story online, see a therapist, tell our story in a support group. these are all great ways to stimulate healing. Then we can freely enjoy time with out friends and workmates.

Releasing our story is an extremely beneficial part of healing. We may not be able to release the traumatic emotion attached to our memories without first telling our story. We may find that we release an enormous burden of emotion while we tell our story.

If we still have such a great fear of speaking out, publishing our story anonymously online may be the perfect solution. There are some web services that allow us to create our own web pages and sites for free. Although it is anonymous, it is still very effective at releasing emotion and allowing us to progress in our healing. It shows that the important thing is to release the truth so that is is not kept within, so that it doesnt continue to damage our lives.

As long as we keep secrets, we cannot be our true selves. Secrets hold us back in life, and prevent us from expressing ourselves in the world. Releasing the secrets doesnt suddenly turn us into a person that has never suffered abuse. That is our truth and we retain that all our lives. But our truth empowers us to live life as we truly wish, whereas suppressed truth keeps us in a place of suffering and weakness.

Keeping silent about past trauma

Living by repressed strategies

When we look at the pattern of our lives, we can see that we use certain strategies to deal with the world. Each pattern has a strategy driving it. We may see patterns in our lives, and want to free ourselves from their limiting effect.

We develop these strategies based on childhood decisions and beliefs. Some of these strategies lead to success in our lives. These are not the ones that frustrate us. We are frustrated by the ones that limit our freedom and block our success.

One way for us to work out the strategy behind the pattern is to think it out, keeping in mind the childhood thinking that made it possible. Childhood thinking is forever-everywhere-thinking. As children we make decisions about how we are, and how the world is. We easily create beliefs that apply indefinitely.

More extreme limiting beliefs lead to more extreme strategies. For example, those of us who essentially live like hermits, spending most of our time alone, living in out of the way places, do so because of a strategy, not because of our personality. This strategy requires beliefs about safety being in places about other people. These beliefs require experiences that tell us all people bring danger. This example shows how to trace a pattern to a strategy to a belief. We will know by our emotional reaction,  if there is any truth to the connection.

Another pattern we may see ourselves sometimes live, is desperately seeking help, having a really strong emotional need for help, when difficulties come along in life. We then employ a strategy to get help in proportion to our emotional need for it. Yet it may be an excessive reaction. We probably don’t need as much help as we think we do. We are experiencing a memory of needing help. A memory of a more extreme experience, that led us to believe that difficult times put us in a position of being helpless.

These examples show strategies that are based on emotional memories of past events. They are simply too extreme. In order to have appropriate responses to the sitiation s we have in our adult lives, we need to remove the emotion from the belief. This then stops the strategy, because it is energised by the emotional memory.

The other approach to dealing with extreme strategies is to try to make them less extreme. With our minds we can decide what is logical, and apply our mental energy. This method takes a huge amount of effort, creates enormous struggle in our lives, and doesn’t actually work – because it is treating the symptoms rather than the cause. It is futile.

Better to dig up the emotion, clear the memory of its emotional baggage and limiting belief – and watch the limiting strategy disappear from our lives without further effort.

Living by repressed strategies

Memories of fear

At times, we may feel fear, when it either doesn’t make any sense at all, or it is unnecessarily strong. In these situation we are experiencing a memory of fear. This is a memory of a past event where we experienced fear, yet we have suppressed the memory and are only aware of the fear.

In response to traumatic experiences, our minds can use the technique of separating consciousness. This allows us to forget the experience and survive until we are safe. We are able to put things out of our mind, so that we can focus on protecting ourselves or getting to safety.

The mind takes enough consciousness to contain the emotion of the experience, and places it inside the memory, and files it away. This is the mechanism of intentional forgetting. The consciousness in that memory remains there, stuck at that time, but it is still connected to us.Also it still has access to our 6 physical senses*, and if it notices a situation that reminds it of the initial trauma, it will trigger the feeling in the memory. We will feel fear, yet not understand why.

The stronger the emotion held by the memory, the stronger the emotion felt in the present. Triggering extreme trauma can result in a panic attack. This is possible because consciousness is not actually divisible. We are separate emotions in the same way waves in water are separate. The same is true for our mind. Those forgotten memories cannot be completely separated.

These forgotten memories retain their emotion, often affecting our lives in negative ways. They remain this way until we retrieve and heal them. We can do this once we have found safety, yet our culture teaches us to never allow this healing.

To heal these memories, we need to allow the emotion when it arises. It may be as simple as grieving the emotion away. In some cases we don’t even remember the memory. Other times we need to use healing tools to trace the feel I to its memory. Some therapists have these skills, but most do not. Once we acquire these tools, we can use them ourselves. Whatever way we heal, grieving is required to clear the trapped emotion. We must allow ourselves to cry.

Therapists that are trained to help with PTSD from childhood or war trauma are more likely to know the tools required to clear emotion from intentionally forgotten beliefs.

The mechanism of forgetting, and later healing, is quite simple and easy to understand. Not so easy to do. Its really worth the effort! Initially, emotion released can be overwhelming, but it passes each time, and decreases as healing progresses.

* as well as the 5 physical senses we learn about, there is a sixth. We are a receiver and transmitter of electromagnetic energy and possess a complex energy field. We can send and receive a lot of information with this tool. Also, there is our connection with universal consciousness, that can be interpreted as a non physical sense.

Memories of fear