There is a feeling, in the pit of the abdomen, of uneasiness. A feeling that something isn’t right, a feeling that something bad may happen.
Some of us have this feeling occasionally, some of us usually have it. It depends on our childhood experiences. The worse our childhood experiences, the more often we will experience this feeling.
When we have this feeling, it destroys our confidence. We can’t create new things in our life, we can’t build our version of success in our lives.
Most of us get this feeling occasionally and it stops our life. We can’t move ahead until is passes. After it passes we can continue where we left off. It doesn’t stop our whole lives.
Some of us get this feeling a lot. It may shut down our life for hours or days. We can’t face the world and this fear causes us to withdraw from the world. It sabotages the success we try to build in our lives. We must put our lives on hold until we get through this experience. Some things we have created in our lives may get destroyed. We have had childhood experiences that have seriously harmed our ability to live.
Some of us have this feeling almost constantly. Usually it sits in the background of our mind and absorbs our confidence. We rarely have the opportunity to create something in our life. On the rare occasion that is feeling isn’t present, we are able to make big changes in our life, usually to get out of a situation we no longer desire. Then the feeling returns and we seek out a situation of comfort and safety. This feeling may sabotage the building of any success in our life. We may remain poor, or socially isolated, even homeless and destitute. We may know we are different to other people, but not understand why we cannot do what most people can do. It is because of this fear, this memory of the childhood expectation of bad experiences.
To heal this effect of child abuse, we must confront the beliefs behind it, and grieve away the emotion from that place. Rather than use drugs like heroin, alcohol, nicotine or sugar to repress the feel in, we must allow the feeling to arise so that it can be processed, remembered and cleared. Its not easy to heal from this, but in the long term, life becomes happier and enjoyable.